Understanding Your Child and Her Eating Disorder

Understanding Your Child and Her Eating Disorder 

The hardest part of having a child or family member with an eating disorder is the longevity of the disease. Dads especially are used to going in and “fixing” problems; but, when it comes to eating disorders, it is not that simple.

Eating Disorder

What Is It Like Inside The Mind of an Eating Disorder Patient?

I tell parents that the unrelenting, pervasive and constant eating disorder thoughts in their child’s head are similar to what they would experience if they were wearing headphones with loud rock music while I was talking to them. I would not expect them to be able to retain the information I was giving them with the all of that “noise in their heads.”

Similarly, the malnourished brain cannot make good decisions. When your child has an eating disorder her ability to remember all the loving things you do as parents goes right out the window each time she is confronted about her food intake.

Also, the level of fear, shame and guilt eating disorder patients experience is huge. I ask the family to think about times when they were fearful. I give the example of the time I was in a tall hotel in San Diego and woke up in the middle of the night with my bed moving. I couldn’t even keep my balance on the floor. I hit the stairwell with 500 other guests and you could almost feel the collective fear that the building would collapse and we would all be killed.

That is the level of fear that those who struggle with eating disorders live with on a daily basis around their food.

What Can Parents Do to Help?

Parents frequently ask me what they can do. First and foremost, they can be parents - not food police or therapists.

It takes a team to fight these dis-eases (hyphenated purposely because of the dis-ease it causes the family). I would not attempt to treat a patient without a team approach.

The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) is focused on helping family members get the information and tools they need to deal with their loved ones. They have support groups, reading materials, guidelines, information on treatment centers, and a lot of options for parents, siblings, significant other to learn and deal with eating disorders.

I also direct family members to 12-step groups for support. It may be AA, CODA (co-dependency anonymous), EDA (eating disorders anonymous) EA (emotions anonymous)—any group that can offer support and a chance to voice your feelings.

At Remuda Ranch at the Meadows, we have dietitians, therapists, and primary care physicians on board to tackle these issues. The family is also considered an important part of our team; we try to educate, support, train, and encourage them through a family week process. We know we are just not treating the patient - it is a family affair. Please call our intake department at 866-390-5100, or reach out to us online, if you need more information about treatment options for a loved one, or for yourself.

 

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Overcoming Your Dysfunctional Relationship With Food

By Helen Pak, Director of Nutrition Services at Remuda Ranch at The Meadows

In the early stages of eating disorder treatment, the most important message for patients is to accept is that food is the best medicine for their illness. As they get healthier, however, it becomes necessary to shift the focus and help patients improve their relationship with food.

Changing Your Perceptions of Foods

The first step for eating disorder patients in treatment is to avoid labeling foods and categorizing them as “good” or “bad.” This black and white thinking is a dieter’s mentality and leads to a dysfunctional relationship with food. When a patient eats a food on their “bad” or forbidden list, they believe that they are bad and punish themselves by restricting, compensating, or ruminating on self-loathing thoughts. Patients can find peace with food by accepting that all foods are okay in moderation, and that foods are not intrinsically good or bad.

Reintroducing fear foods and exposing patients to a variety of foods is also an important part of the recovery process. At Remuda Ranch at The Meadows, we have a strategically designed menu cycle to support overall healthy eating, and to challenge patients with some of the most common fear foods. Each time a patient is exposed then re-exposed to foods they have omitted because of their eating disorder, they learn to empower themselves and take the power back from food.

Initially, patients might benefit from understanding and accepting the fear food by acknowledging its nutritional value such as “this food is a good source of carbohydrates, which is my brains preferred source of fuel and quick energy for my body”. Understanding foods functionality and finding gratitude for food helps to lessen the guilt and shame around eating.

Finding the Pleasures of Eating

The next step for patients is to allow themselves to find pleasure in eating again. Each person’s approach to this step can be different, according to her personal needs. So, we have a variety of methods to help facilitate this phase in their treatment. One example includes refining cooking skills. If a patient learns that cooking can be fun and easy, they may also learn to enjoy eating. Also, asking them to take in the senses involved in eating— the textures, smells, presentation, and flavors and how they compliment or enhance each other— can make the process of eating more enjoyable.

Patients are given recipes to make it less overwhelming to prepare their own food. They also learn how to combine foods with varying colors, tastes, and textures to make them complement each other. When possible, fresh herbs or vegetables from our garden are picked by patients and used in recipes.

We also help patients enjoy eating by encourage creativity and acknowledging that food and cooking is an art form. At Remuda, patients partake in challenges such as Cupcake Wars or The Iron Chef where they are able to have fun, work as a team, and be creative.

We also work with patients to help them acknowledge and understand the social significance of certain foods and meals. Patients process pre-eating disorder memories of their comfort or fear foods, and they relearn how to appreciate and anticipate certain foods in specific social gatherings. Turkey at Thanksgiving, pizza with friends, ice cream or cake at birthday parties are typically part of social rituals they may have avoided in the past due to their fears. As patients admit how avoiding certain foods has negatively impacted their lives, they realize that they need to let go of their food rules and restrictions in order to regain control of their lives.

Letting Go of Perfection

For someone who struggles with an eating disorder, their relationship with food can be extremely complicated. There is a fine line between dedication to healthy eating, and an unhealthy obsession. Once patients let go of the notion that there is a “perfect” way to eat, they can begin their journey to finding peace with food.

To learn more about how we can help women and girls find joy in eating and reclaim their lives, give us a call at 866-390-5100.

Source Link: http://www.remudaranch.com/blog/item/120-overcoming-your-dysfunctional-relationship-with-food