A Story about a Cat - Remuda Ranch Eating Disorder Treatment Program

By Vicki Berkus M.D., Ph.D., CEDS, Remuda Ranch Medical Advisor

I have learned that I will not win a “battle of wills” against a patient with an eating disorder.
They have perfected setting rules for themselves and the last thing I want to do is give them more rules. I also don’t expect a new patient to immediately trust me; I know that I need to earn the trust. If a patient refuses to talk about their eating disorder or refuses to tell me what they would be willing eat, I start by finding a way to get them to just talk—about anything.

A Story about a Cat

One of the most difficult patients I’ve met in my career actually said to me, “Dr. B, don’t look at me. I don’t deserve to be looked at.” Where do you start from there?

This patient was extremely shut down. The only thing she was willing to talk about was her cat. So, we visited about her cat for a while. Once she started to relax, I asked her if she would be willing to imagine that her cat had an eating disorder and write a story about it.
She did an amazing job! (I tried to get it published but no luck.) She was able to clearly and beautifully articulate her own fears and feelings as long as she was able to imagine that it was all about the cat.

Finding a Way through Shame

I had another patient who was 16 and had lost her hair and her teeth to her disease. She refused to talk about her eating disorder. So, I asked her what she would like to talk about.

She told me that she would talk about her heroin use but not her eating disorder.
So, we started there. Not long after, she told me she had dropped out of high school because the kids would snatch off her wig and laugh at her baldness. She was filled with shame and guilt. As a result, she had only eaten one piece of hard candy, ½ cup of yogurt, and a half of bagel each day for the last year. It can be hard to imagine someone needing that kind of control.

Eventually, she was able to start talking about her eating disorder, but we had to go at her pace. To push her too far too fast might have ruined any chance I had at developing a rapport with her.

Meeting Patients Where They Are

The hardest part of our work as eating disorder professionals is establishing relationships with our patients that allow trust to develop. I frequently start by asking them what they would be willing to try. It may be a smoothie or a quarter cup of a supplement like Ensure or Boost. It may be talking about a beloved pet, or a co-occurring disorder rather than the eating disorder itself.

I also try to provide patients with the information they need in order feel ready to try. For example, if their fear of eating includes fear of the pain that they feel in their GI tract when they eat, I will talk to them about how together we can address the pain and come up with a plan to make it less painful. I will also often order abdominal films for patients so they can look at it and see why they are not “going to burst” with one more mouthful.

Most importantly, I try to remember that with each suggestion I make, the eating disorder is pushing the patient to make the opposite decision. It will take the entire treatment team to help the patient through this difficult phase of their recovery.

Remuda Ranch Can Help

One of the most important goals to achieve while in treatment is to learn how to live life with your Eating Disorder (ED). Remuda Ranch at the Meadows uses a 45-day curriculum to teach the skills you will need to live with ED and move toward life-long recovery. Call us today for more information: 866-390-5100.

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