The Meadows
specializes in treating trauma.
Abuse is one form of trauma.
Often times, childhood trauma that occurred because of child abuse is
overlooked as a core issue when people enter treatment for addictions or other mental health disorders.
Sometimes people minimize what they experienced as children, deny that they
were abused, or believe that it happened so long ago that they are (or that
they should be) “over it” or it is no longer relevant.
What exactly
is child abuse?
What exactly
is child abuse? There are many definitions out there and most
answers to the question are quite complex. The Meadows uses Senior Fellow
Pia Mellody’s simple, yet broad definition: child abuse is any action or
inaction, by a parent or other major caregiver, that is less than nurturing or
experienced as shaming by a child. This is my favorite definition since
it does not minimize based on intent and it allows for the child’s experience
of the action or inaction to be the primary defining factor. It also
eliminates issues around what was “acceptable” in society at any given
time. Just because something was accepted in society, it does not mean
that it was healthy or ok. Society makes many mistakes.
While this
is not even close to being an exhaustive list, here are some examples of child
abuse (adapted from Pia Mellody’s book, Facing Codependence):
Physical
Abuse:
⦁ Hitting,
kicking, punching, pinching, burning, etc.
⦁ Failure to
provide adequate physical needs (food, shelter, clothing, medical, etc.)
⦁ Lack of
appropriate physical nurturing (too much or not enough)
⦁ Forced to
watch or listen to someone else being abused
Sexual
Abuse:
⦁ Any sexual contact between an adult
and a child (or two children with a power differential such as age difference
or more than three years) including, but not limited to, sexual intercourse,
oral sex, anal sex, touching of genitals or other private areas
⦁ Poor sexual
boundaries with children (not monitoring exposure, objectification, rigid or
uncontained sexual attitudes, inappropriate sexual talk in front of children,
etc.)
⦁ Failure to
protect a child from sexual abuse when the risk is known or should reasonably
be known (a family member who has been accused of sexually abusing a child is
permitted to babysit)
⦁ Lack of
sexual information, too much sexual information or sexual misinformation given
to children
Emotional
Abuse:
⦁ Failure to
provide emotional nurturing (ignoring, neglecting, abandoning, etc.)
⦁ Refusing to
allow a child to express their feelings (“stop crying or I will give you
something to cry about”, “get over it already”, etc.)
⦁
Demonstration of improper expression of feelings by caregivers (yelling,
belittling, sarcasm, ridiculing, demeaning, raging, silent rage, side-ways
anger, guilting, etc.)
⦁
Overindulging or overprotecting⦁ No accountability or limits set
⦁ Emotional
isolation or forced to keep unhealthy secrets
Intellectual
Abuse:
⦁ Attacking
or shaming a child’s thought process
⦁ Ridiculing
for being “too smart” or “not smart enough”
⦁ Failure to
provide education
⦁ Failure to
support a child with a learning disability or who is gifted
⦁ Demanding
perfection
⦁
Over-controlling or forcing religious beliefs
⦁ Hypocrisy
⦁ Failure to
provide spiritual nurturing
⦁ Any abuse
by a spiritual leader
⦁ Using
spirituality to instill fear
⦁ Occult or
radical religious practices
Peer
or Social Abuse:
⦁ Bullying or
being teased by siblings or other peers
Why
does it still matter when I am an adult?
Trauma
impacts the brain. Children have brains that are not fully
developed. When children are abused their brains are forced to develop in
a stressed or dysregulated state. This can lead to a lifetime of
challenges with self-regulation. Childhood abuse can lead to an increased
likelihood of unhealthy relationship patterns, addictions, anxiety, depression,
obesity, suicide attempts, chronic health issues, and sexually transmitted
diseases. That last list could just as easily begin with, “People most
frequently seek treatment for…”. While the majority of people are
motivated to therapy or treatment for symptoms, the best treatment also
addresses the underlying and historical issues that pre-date the
symptoms. Symptoms are often a result of a person’s maladaptive attempts
to cope with stress and dysregulation. When underlying issues are not
addressed, symptoms may return or new symptoms may surface to replace the ones
that were treated.
Do
I need to seek treatment?
Some people
need to seek inpatient or intensive outpatient treatment when their symptoms
are so disruptive to their lives that day-to-day functioning is impaired.
Some people require less intensive treatment but still want something that is
specialized and focused on how to deal with their core issues and childhood
trauma. The Meadows and its
sister programs offer highly individualized treatment services encompass trauma
and related mental health conditions on many different levels. Childhood
trauma can be addressed at all of The Meadows’ programs.Survivors is The
Meadows signature workshop and an essential component of its inpatient
treatment programs. It is an intensive workshop focused on addressing
childhood trauma. The Survivors workshop is also offered as a stand-alone
intensive for people who are not in need of long-term treatment. Rio
Retreat Center at The Meadows offers a five-day Survivors workshop for anyone
who is interested and who meets the criteria for admission. For more
information on enrolling in a Survivors workshop experience or for any of our
treatment programs, please call our intake department at 1-800-244-4949.
April is
National Child Abuse Prevention Month. For more information, go to April
is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. For more information, go
to https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/preventing/preventionmonth/
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