When Your Child Needs Inpatient Eating Disorder Treatment

Making the decision to send your adolescent daughter to an inpatient treatment center for an eating disorder may be one of the scariest and most difficult things you ever do as a parent. However, given the seriousness of eating disorders — anorexia, for example, has the highest death rate of all mental illnesses — it is important that you do insist that she get the treatment she needs. As a parent, your influence is more powerful than you may think.

It is crucial that parents help young girls accept and participate in the critical care and inpatient eating disorder treatment they need. When patients are left to seek treatment on their own, they often will not follow through. They also do not see their eating behaviors as a problem, even in the face of obvious physical and emotional consequences.

Don’t Let the Disorder Make the Decisions

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing!”
“I don’t need to go away for treatment. I can get better on my own.”
“I promise I’ll eat if you don’t make me go.”

These are just a few of the responses you might hear when you tell your daughter she needs hospital-level care for her eating disorder. Most teens and pre-teens go to treatment in a state of denial. And, out of a sense of desperation brought on by their disorder, they may be very good at pulling the heartstrings that convince a parent to back down from sending them to treatment, or to remove them from treatment once they get there.

That’s why it is so important to stay strong when your child tries to tell you that she doesn’t haven’t a problem and can’t bear to be away. Trust your instincts. When your child begs you not to make her go, or to remove her from the care you know that she desperately needs, that’s the eating disorder talking, not her. Don’t let the eating disorder decide what’s best for your child.

If your child’s doctor, therapist, or outpatient treatment staff tell you that she needs partial hospitalization or inpatient treatment, it’s important to follow through. It means that they, as healthcare professionals, are very concerned about your child’s safety, and feel that she needs to be more closely monitored and receive a higher level of treatment to restore her weight and address any co-occurring health problems.

Sharing the Difficult News

How you approach the conversation with your child can have an important influence on her willingness to embrace her treatment plan and her perception of herself and her disorder. It’s perfectly normal for you to feel apprehensive about having the conversation. Here are just a few suggestions for helping to steer the conversation in a positive direction:

1. Be honest and hopeful.
2. Tell your child how much you love them and that this decision is being made by both parents and loved ones and is in her best interest.
3. Validate your child’s feelings but do not get into a power struggle. Example: “I know this is tough for you, but there’s no other option,” and/or “We’ll give you some time to calm down. Then, we can talk more.”
4. Express your complete confidence that she can and will get better.
5. Express your trust in her treatment and team, and your intention to stay in contact with them and support her in every way you can.

It’s also okay for you to ask for help from your treatment team in discussing the decision with your child. It is important, that you, as a parent, are the one delivering the news, but your treatment professionals can provide you with extra support and assistance.

Take Care of Yourself and Your Family Too

As you are focusing on your child’s health and well-being, don’t forget about your own. This is also a trying time for you and your family. Make sure you gather up a support network made up of friends, family, and perhaps even a therapist or other mental health professional to help you work through your personal emotional struggles.

Our Eating Disorder Program Can Help

It also might be helpful to choose a treatment facility for your child that takes a family-focused approach to treatment. At Remuda Ranch at The Meadows, families receive an extensive education on eating disorders, communication, and relationships. They also have the opportunity to do an experiential learning session with The Meadows Equine Therapy team and experience a full-day intensive “truth and love” session, where they and their loved one in recovery can share thoughts and feelings in a way they may not have been able to before.
For additional information about the treatment of eating disorders, please call to speak to an Intake Coordinator at 866-332-0836 or contact us online.

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Truth in Love: Eating Disorder Recovery for the Whole Family

By Michelle Wells, Remuda Ranch Alumna
It didn’t take long for Remuda Ranch to become my home and her residents my family, but my stay there was temporary. I knew that from the moment I arrived. Though letters from family and phone calls from home were comforting and something that I looked forward to, they were also a reminder that life beyond the ranch was going on without me.

That was good and bad, I suppose. One the one hand, it hurt. I had a husband and five kids whom I loved and missed dearly. On the other hand, it was in their voices, written notes and hand drawn pictures that I found the inspiration to live. The countdown until discharge was constant. The bridge that would get me there, Family Week, was a respite I had anticipated from the moment I arrived. After being away from home for weeks, the days leading up to Family Week were exciting and filled with anticipation. The other participants and I made welcome posters for our families. Laughing like school girls preparing for prom, we picked out our clothes, then planned and re-planned our days out.

In the quiet moments, though, I was nervous. Since our children were too young to participate, my husband and I would be a family of two. With the help of therapy and nutrition, I had changed a lot. Three concerns haunted me:
1. Not only had I gained weight, I still had a feeding tube in my nose. What would my husband think?

2. My denial had been shattered. I was really sick. I had hurt myself, but I had also hurt my family. Could my husband and our children forgive me? I had also been hurt. Could I forgive my husband?

3. As much as I wanted to go home, I knew I could not manage recovery on my own. Could our marriage become what I needed it to be? Could my husband love me the way I needed to be loved?

Learning How to Live and Love

When the big day came, I hung the posters and waited out front. As my husband pulled into the parking lot and waved, the gleam in his eye made his emotions clear. Kirk was happy to see me.

 

Though Family Week would be busy and challenging, our reunion was magical. As he held me in his arms relief washed over me, a baptism, of sorts, into our new lives. My husband still loved me. He kissed me then traced my feeding tube with his finger. I pushed his hand away. My face warmed, the heat rising to my ears. Tears boiled over and trickled down my cheeks. “It’s okay,” he said. “You don’t need to hide anymore.” He held my hands in his. “Besides, it looks kind of good on you.” We laughed until we cried and then we laughed some more. We had a lot to learn. Family Week would help with that.

The first couple of mornings were filled with education. While the residents remained on campus, Kirk and the other family participants spent the mornings learning about eating disorders, communication skills, and recovery. These lessons provided a foundation for understanding and insight, necessary skills for healing beyond Remuda Ranch. Time for reflection and communicating with my primary therapist helped Kirk gain insight. He, too, played a role in my disease. Though I was the one with anorexia, we both had issues, individually and together, that needed to be addressed in order for me (and for us) to heal. In addition, Kirk found empathy and strength from talking with the other families. He was not alone.

Just like residents were assigned to family groups at Remuda Ranch, we were split up into small groups at Family Week. A few families worked together with a team of therapist throughout the week. Some of that time was spent doing activities. When words seemed exhausting, Art Therapy gave us the opportunity to feel and put expression to our experience. Years later, we still treasure a mixed media project we created together. It is a precious reminder of heartache and restoration. Zip Lining and Rock Climbing, essential elements from the challenge course, pushed us to our limits, forcing us to trust and encourage each other and the rest of our “family.” We also laughed a lot. Anorexia, the thief that keeps on taking, had stolen our joy. We were taking it back.

Truth in Love

The most difficult part of the week took place behind closed doors with our family group. At the time, we seemed like an odd match for our group. We, two younger parents with little kids, were grouped together with “older” parents of college-aged students. It is only now, writing this, that I wonder if that was by design. It must have been. Much of my own trauma had taken place during my high school and college years. I learned and healed by watching and supporting the two other families share their hurts and heal their hearts. 

 

With the guidance of two therapists, each family took turns being the focus. Kirk and I were scheduled to go last. This was beneficial for us because both of us feel more comfortable after a time of observation. We listened and heard what pain and healthy disclosure sounded like. We watched and learned how to meet sadness and sorrow with compassion. We witnessed forgiveness followed by restoration and realized we need not be afraid. Through it all, we supported the other residents and their families. By helping others we come to understand ourselves more clearly. The message to both of us was clear: eating disorders thrive in isolation; hope and healing are found in community.

When the day arrived for our “Truth in Love” exchange, I was petrified. Introverted by nature, both my husband and I struggled to communicate. Our sensitive hearts were hidden behind layers of quick wit and sarcasm. Sharing on a deep level while sitting in front of others highlighted every weakness. However, much like yanking off a Band-Aid, it was necessary for recovery.

Kirk and I sat face-to-face and knee-to-knee. With the therapists at our sides for guidance, each of us shared from notes we had prepared. We began with a message of love, the foundation to which we could always return. We proceeded with our goals, the signposts that would guide us through the morning. Those were difficult but safe exchanges, baby steps for the leaps of faith that would come later. Beautiful moments, to be sure, but our knees were knocking (literally) because we knew what was coming. We took a break to regroup.
After a quick dose of encouragement from my therapist and a few moments to breathe, Kirk and I sat down again. My reserved husband sat in front of me, looked me in the eye, and asked forgiveness. Mistake-by-mistake, offense-by-offense, he admitted his faults. His voice stammered but he had never appeared stronger. Line-by-line, I forgave him. My forgiveness was real, but I remained stoic and still, shocked that my husband had done anything that necessitated forgiveness. I, after all, was the one at Remuda Ranch.

The morning was filled with stops and starts because I was still quick to disengage and dissociate. The therapists proceeded at a slow pace, careful not to overwhelm either of us. I shared my many wrongs, some obvious and some secret, and Kirk forgave me. We chipped away at the wall that dysfunction had built between us. We were choosing to forgive and move forward. Together.

Since a traumatic exchange was pivotal in the development of my eating disorder, our therapists had decided that a role play was important to my recovery. With the therapists’ guiding us, we reenacted the event. This time Kirk responded differently and acted as my protector. Although the scene did not play out as smoothly or dramatically as they had likely hoped, I learned and healed a lot. I understood that my husband was willing to risk everything to save me. I knew I was no longer alone. I realized that my family of origin no longer wielded power over me. I could create a future that looked different from my past.

After the intensive family work, our family group talked as a whole about our exchange. It was a valuable time filled with insight and support, a chance to look inside at ourselves and our relationship and an opportunity to learn from our experiences. By discussing what they had witnessed, the other families helped me see things about my behavior that I had missed. The others couples provided insight about our relationship.

Some shared how they had struggled with similar issues. They praised our strengths and challenged us in areas where we needed to grow. The other patients encouraged me. They had witnessed the progress I had made during my stay at Remuda. When we returned to campus, my Family Week group encouraged one another and held each other accountable. Giving and receiving support within the context of healthy relationships, I learned, brings lasting transformation.

The Long View

Though we had both grown a lot during Family Week, there was much work to be done, so before Kirk returned home we met with my primary therapist. This gave us an opportunity to discuss my needs, the importance of aftercare, and our plan for future treatment. An IOP would be necessary as I stepped back into the real world. We would need to continue working individually and as a couple, if I wanted to stay on the road to recovery. Our time with my therapist helped us get a realistic view of the long-term recovery process. I had been sick for a very long time; it would be a long time before I was well. With a concrete plan of action returning home no longer felt so scary. Kirk and I both had hope for our future.

 

Family Week was an important part of our healing. My husband understood much more about eating disorders, relationships, and recovery. He better understood the severity of my illness, but he also felt more equipped to build a future. Family Week helped us remember what it felt like to love and laugh again, but it also gave us the desire to talk about the hard things.

Family Week gave us a sense of community and family. We no longer felt like “freaks” battling an unknown foe. Family Week remains in our hearts as a time of healing and promise, a retreat to the desert where we caught our breath, gathered our tools, practiced our skills, and built our army. I now see it as a sort of boot camp. The lessons we learned during Family Week continue to teach us and shape our relationship.

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Few Facts About Teen Anorexia and Adult Anorexia

Eating is part of our daily activities. We cannot live without food for more than 11 days. However, there are girls of age 8-35 who under the peer pressure, become victim of Anorexia Nervosa. Anorexia in teens is very common these days due to pressure of maintaining good body. The victim fails to differentiate between good body and healthy body. She often avoids food or purges it out after eating. 

Below mentioned are some facts about teen anorexia and adult anorexia…

1. It is a type of mental illness. A person with eating disorder is categorized as mental patient struggling with making peace with the body. They often feel unusual eating habits damages their body.
2. Out of 10 anorexic patients, 9 are women and 1 is male. Women are conscious about their body thus, they practice purging of food.
3. Anorexia Nervosa could become a reason of death. Person obsessing with thin body often fall into the trap of anorexia nervosa. If it isn’t stopped on time, it could be life-taking experience. Many times girls do not share this with their parents and they become physically and mentally weaker day by day.
4. 30 million people are victims of one or the other eating disorder. As the girls grow older, their fear of becoming fat is overtaking their life. The 40% of girls in 3^rd grade are victims of anorexia.
5. Anorexia could be genetic. Thus, if a girl is anorexic or has been anorexic, there are chances that her daughter could suffer the same. Thus, one should keep eye on their children if they themselves have remained victim of anorexia.
6. Anorexia could also lead to depression and other disorders. Amongst all, very few get the treatment of Anorexia. Only 10% of people with eating disorders receive treatment. Only 35% seek treatment from a facility that specializes in eating disorders.
7. The most important fact about anorexia nervosa is that it can be healed with Remuda Ranch. Remuda Ranch heals every kind of disorder including anorexia nervosa. At Remuda Ranch we guide women and girls through recovery by examining the root causes of their disorders. For more than 25 years Remuda Ranch at The Meadows has been helping people recover from eating disorders. Our experienced staff is here to help you.

Because there is hope, there is help.

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Celebrating Hanukkah with Sufganiyot

By Helen Pak, Director of Nutrition Services
At Remuda Ranch at The Meadows, one of the ways we help our eating disorder patients improve their relationships with food is through a series of fun and educational culinary challenges.

This week, in honor of Hanukkah, patients in our residential treatment program made Sufganiyot. A Sufganiyah is a deep-fried donut that is filled with jelly or custard and topped with powdered sugar.
During Hanukkah, it is customary to eat Sufganiyot and other foods that are fried in oil. They symbolize the Biblical miracle of a small amount of sacred lamp oil burning in the Temple for eight nights rather than the expected one.

This challenge helped patients to face some of their fears about fried foods and desserts. It also helped to reinforce the idea that all foods, in moderation, can fit into a healthy meal plan.

Holiday celebrations are often centered around food, which can make them especially tough for eating disorder patients. With this activity, we wanted to help all patients, from a multitude of religious traditions and belief systems, enjoy a holiday tradition, as one of the many small steps they’re taking toward finding the joy, peace, and hope that they deserve.

 

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Adderall Abuse and Eating Disorders

Adderall is an amphetamine stimulant prescribed for ADHD, ADD, and narcolepsy. The effects of this drug include a heightening of attention, energy and awareness. Additionally, the drug can create the compulsion to achieve a task or goal the person taking it might not otherwise think possible. On top of all that, Adderall is an appetite suppressant. These qualities make the drug extremely attractive for college-aged women who are susceptible to disordered eating habits.

According to a study from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, full-time college students between ages 18 and 22 are twice as likely as their non full-time college student counterparts to have used Adderall for non-medical purposes. Prescription drug abuse has become an epidemic on college campuses, with more than 4 out of 10 saying they have abused prescription stimulants.

The Study Drug for Weight Loss

Young women entering college are experiencing an inordinate amount of stress and pressure for many reasons. Most college freshmen are worried about gaining the “freshman fifteen” – weight gain that is experienced by many new female students. The need to achieve academic and social success is paramount. And the more competitive the school environment is, the more pressure the student feels to succeed. This is where Adderall comes in: a drug that promises the ability to stay focused while studying and suppresses the desire to stress eat so you can avoid weight gain.

While Adderall will suppress appetite and increase the metabolism of almost anyone who takes it, those who have the potential to abuse it are typically biologically predisposed toward disordered eating. Adderall can bring out disordered eating behavior in someone who hasn’t dealt with that behavior before.

Adderall abuse for weight loss in itself isn’t exactly an eating disorder, but it’s a symptom of other eating disorders like anorexia and binge eating disorder. Women who already have a malnourished brain due to restricting food may even convince themselves they suffer from ADD or ADHD and are in need of Adderall, when really they need to increase their food consumption. Those suffering from anorexia will use Adderall as a way to restrict weight even more, and people engaging in binge episodes can use Adderall for alternative episodes of restricting food for long periods of time.

The Dangers of Adderall Abuse

Adderall produces dopamine in the brain, which is a neurotransmitter that suppresses appetite. It keeps the dopamine from being recycled and metabolized away. This means we connect taking Adderall with a feeling of pleasure, and this undoubtedly leads to a high potential for abuse and addiction for those who are not prescribed the drug. When you take a stimulant medication, or any abusive medication, after three or four months of taking it the brain restructures itself. You become tolerant so you have to take more of the drug to get the same effects.

Adderall can even be deadly. Without having a doctor go over your medical history and health problems, the drug could react with an underlying health problem for serious side effects that include:

• Abnormal heartbeat and cardiac risks
• Increased blood pressure
• Increased risk of stroke and heart attack
• Seizures
• Hair loss
• Sudden death

Used in excess, Adderall has the potential to bring out OCD, psychosis, paranoid personalities, and delusions.

When taking Adderall for weight loss you are dealing with the negative side effects along with the issues that come with an eating disorder. Anorexia and bulimia cause thinning hair, low blood pressure, heart palpitations and heart failure, weak muscles, dizziness, insomnia and can make it difficult or impossible to get pregnant.

While at first Adderall may seem like the miracle study and weight loss drug, the reliance on the drug is not sustainable. Suffering the physical, mental and emotional consequences of addiction is an inevitable fate for the abuser. It’s not unlikely that the user could eventually turn to cocaine or methamphetamines.

Remuda Ranch Can Help

Amphetamines and stimulants are dangerous enough without the added risk of an eating disorder. At Remuda Ranch, we have treated eating disorders for more than 25 years. We know recovery from addiction and eating disorders is possible. For more information about our treatment program, please call to speak to one of our Intake Coordinators at 866-329-7713 and we will contact you with the information you need.

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